Editing/Drafting: Linking Strategies and more

You have two basic grammatical choices when going from one sentence to the next sentence:

1. Start the second sentence by repeating the subject of the first sentence, or

2. Start the second sentence by making the object of the first sentence the subject of the second sentence.

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Below is an example of the above techniques that expand on the idea of "borrowing words" to strengthen our transitions. The following techniques emphasize linking our ideas from sentence to sentence using the key words (subject or object) from the previous sentence. Additionally, these techniques should be combined with other strategies, such as using synonymous language to avoid repetition or monotony as the paragraph develops.

Besides creating more coherent (understandable) transitions, these techniques will also help naturally develop an idea from the first sentence to the last within a paragraph.

When we practice these techniques, we must also consider and work towards structuring our body paragraph using our PRE (Point, Reason, Example) formula. Below is one example of how to use PRE with the linking techniques:

Point | Topic Sentence: Anthony Bourdain learns very early in his cooking career that cockiness only gets a person so far in life.

Reasons:  

1. Fellow workers do not appreciate the attitude that one is better than others.
2. Cockiness can cause one to become too confident in their skills and cause them to do a poor job.
3. Someone or something will humble a man when he becomes too cocky.

Supporting Example:

1. Tyrone at Mario's
2. Chef Bernard at CIA 

Okay...we have our PRE. Now, we must work on the following two sentence-to-sentence techniques for strong coherence.

Borrowing Words From Previous Sentences

1. Repeat the subject of one sentence as the subject of the next sentence! However, to show some variety and skill:

• If the subject is the author of a source you are explaining, rotate between their whole name and their last name.  

• For example:  Anthony Bourdain learns.... Bourdain realizes...

• Or, use an adjective or brief phrase that helps develop the subject further.  

• For example: Anthony Bourdain learns.... The overconfident Bourdain realizes...

• Or, create a brief introductory phrase using a synonym (word or phrase) that characterizes your subject and gives good context, followed by the appropriate pronoun:

• For example:  Anthony Bourdain learns.... As a novice cook, he realizes...

Let's  see how a young writer might put this "repeat the subject" technique into play:

        Anthony Bourdain learns very early in his cooking career that cockiness only gets a person so far in life (topic sentence).  Bourdain realizes that his fellow workers do not appreciate the attitude that one is better than others (reason 1).  The overconfident Bourdain also realizes that cockiness can cause one to become too confident in their skills and cause them to do a poor job (reason 2). As a novice cook, he finds out someone or something will humble a man when he becomes too cocky (reason 3).

• Another technique to note: each sentence's main verb is a synonym of the topic sentence's main verb. (Why does this make sense?)

• Also, note that we have yet to introduce our supporting examples that are specific experiences Bourdain learned from two early chapters in his life.

2. Turn the object from one sentence into the subject of the very next sentence. 

• This technique is good to use when transitioning between a reason and an example. You may have to revise the object a bit to make the transitions sound good:  

•  For example: 

• Bourdain realizes that his fellow workers do not appreciate the attitude that one is better than others.  
• (So "fellow workers" will start the next sentence...)

• One fellow worker that dislikes Bourdain's cockiness is Tyrone, the head cook at Mario's where Bourdain spends his second summer learning to cook. 
• (So "Tyrone" will start the next sentence...)

• Tyrone shows his cooking scars to a whiny Bourdain to make the point that one cannot be cocky in the kitchen and cry for burn cream (pg. #).  
• (So "his cooking scars" may be the subject of the next sentence...)

The two general techniques will help you:

• Build coherency by staying on topic

• Build vocabulary as you decide on different synonyms to use

• Further pay attention to those basic parts of speech: subject, verb, and object. 

Lastly (deep breath...),  use these techniques in revising & editing all essays:

The above writing techniques can be used at any stage of of the essay writing process. Sure, it helps to practice writing this way from the first draft. However, it's also a good way to go back through and re-write your essays to help clear up coherency issues.

• Look for places where you start a sentence with a pronoun, especially one that may be too broad and lack a reference (It, This, That, Those, These...). Replace such sentences in your essay with one that uses the above techniques.

• Look for places where you have poor transitions ("trans." might be marked on a draft critique).